Australia reduce squad from 'Everyone' to just 13... &my first ever exclusive.

It has been a perfect week for England who thumped Australia A by 10 wickets.  KP lulled the Australian selectors into a false sense of security and tricked them into picking a slow left armer with a frist class average of 50.  Meanwhile the rest of the batting line up clicked as Ian Bell top scored with 189.  Our back- up bowling attack also looked good as they put Aussie Test hopefuls to the slaughter.  One of them just may have to emulate Gladstone Small’s cameo in the ‘85/’86 series (he came in last minute for the injured Graeme Dilley to take a ‘5 for’ in the 4^th Test at the MCG).

In contrast the Aussie’s comical week kicked off with the announcement that every able bodied bloke over 12 and under 65 was in the squad for the first Test.  Mike Hussey went on to make a timely century against some friendly bowling and saved his International career but nobody else in the whole of Australia got more than 10.  It was therefore announced that the 13 man squad would remain exactly the same as the very unsuccessful one that has played all year.  That is except Nathan Hauritz.  The selectors had a different and cunning plan in that department.

Nathan’s since proved himself to be the bigger man and kept quiet after being axed from the final squad.  He has, however, had the considerable weight of Shane Warne (calm down, that wasn’t a diet pill pun; he’s retired, lay off him) lending his support.  In the ubiquitous tweeting that follows selections these days, Warne called the decision ‘very harsh’ and admitted Hauritz had deserved ‘first crack at the Poms’.  Hauritz is now the 7^th Spinner to have be dropped by Ricky Ponting since the Fat, Earring wearing, drug- cheating adulterer hung up his Floppy Green Cap.

To make it more like a soap opera, Big Terry Hauritz, Nathan’s father, waded in and accused the selectors of playing mind games.  It’s nowhere near as funny as Mitchell Johnson’s Mum calling his girlfriend 'Bitchy' before the last series.  Still, it conjures up an image of an irrate bloke outside a pub in a plaid shirt and a High- Vis vest, about to drive his Holden pick- up home after a drunken rant (or perhaps that’s just me).

By selecting left arm spinner Xavier Doherty it is crystal clear who they are targeting with their mind games.  The whole world thinks KP is a walking wicket when facing any Left Arm Spinner.  He may have hit an all time low when he got out to Mehrab Hossain’s first ball against the Bangladeshi A team in the Spring and his most recent dismissal was at the hands of Steve O’Keefe against Australia A.  There may have been aproximately 36 other slow left armers of modest repute along the way.  However, as I pointed out in my very first entry, Doherty has a first class bowling average of around 50 and that’s only just a smidgeon better than KP’s own off spinning average of 53.  Even if he flukes KP's wicket, the rest of batting line up down as far as Swan will absolutely smash him.

I am forever optimistic about England; it's in my nature.  I can only see one marker in history and one outcome.  I’m so confident I’ll commit it to writing (safe in the knowledge I can edit entries to this blog long after they are posted).  At this very same ground in the first Test of that ‘85/’86 series, England’s talisman Ian Botham came to the crease after 21 Test’s without a century and scored 138.  He smashed one of Merv Hughes’s over for 22 runs.  KP will do better at the GABBA this week – quote me on it.  Botham’s knock set up our last series victory on Australian soil and the same from KP will set those wheels in motion again.  Backed up by the more dependable types around him, he will shine again and the ‘1930s moustache’ era will be remembered as fondly as the ‘blond streak in his hair’ era.

…And, Just because I know only 3 people will read it before it's announced Here is the very first Alternative Ashes Blog exclusive.  Warwickshire are set to announce Jim Troughton as the new Club Captain tomorrow.  I’d like to be the first to offer Jim all the very best.  Here’s looking forward to a successful year watching Warwickshire from the new pavilion complete with Ashes winners, Bell and Trott, in the middle order and an old school friend as Captain.